I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
