Non-Jews are for practice
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
