I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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