i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
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When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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