you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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