she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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