'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
