I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
honey bunches of taint.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
