If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
two words: eviction party
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
