In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
