My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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