im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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