my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
