Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
