Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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