he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
