My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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