fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
