im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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