she takes plan B like it's going out of style
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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