i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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