why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
