Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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