I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
