it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My ATM looks so different sober.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
