plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
