Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
people are starting to question the shark bite story
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
