I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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