i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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