I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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