Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize