I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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