she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
