Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
