i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
