so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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