he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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