you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
as a side note pls kill me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
