No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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