I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
