I want to have your abortion
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
