He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
