so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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