It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
