i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
