Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
