There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When are your genitals available?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
