The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
