My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
