rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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