Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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