you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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