Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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