Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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