i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.