Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize