I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
