what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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