i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
