she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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