Old men and throwing up are my life now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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