So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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