You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
