In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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