Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
