Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so let's talk penis.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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