she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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