I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
