i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize