some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize