i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
